“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates
One definition of insanity is “doing the same things and expecting different results.” Haven’t we all done that – been insane at times, I mean? How many times have you wished and begged and pleaded with God to just take away your lustful desires? I know I did… over and over… and over again.
Many years and many petitions later, I realized why He never just “took away” my problem [my porn addiction]. It was not because God was unable to do so. It had more to do with me and my choices. When I begged for my “lustful desires” to be taken away, what I really was asking for [this is what I realized] was for Him to remove the guilt. In the worst part of my addiction, I wanted to keep looking at all the pornography I could, but I didn’t like the guilty feelings it brought. The guilt and the shame were so “heavy” on my heart that it was hard to breathe at times. At that time, I did not want healing… I wanted to “have my cake and eat it too.”
13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. (James 1:13-14)
I am so thankful that God did not answer my prayers back then. I am so grateful that He did what I needed, and not what I wanted. What I needed was to grow up, and take responsibility for my life, my choices, and my behaviors. I needed to make amends and CHOOSE to change and CHOOSE to live differently.
Where are you on the road to recovery? Are you still looking for an “easy out?” Are you still “mad” at God because He won’t take away your “lust?”
God will heal you and restore you; but you must first CHOOSE to give up your addiction. Just as the man at the pool of Bethesda was asked by Jesus, “Do you want to be healed” you too, must decide that you want to be healed. Once that decision is made, you must commit to the process it will take to get you to recovery. I highly recommend a very structured recovery program combined with individual counseling. You need help getting over your addiction, and if you could have done it on you own… you would not be reading this. Reach out to godly men and ask for accountability; sustained sobriety depends on this! Rise up, take hold of your recovery, and begin your journey today:
Decide to Change
Commit to the Process