Pornography is Addictive

Is Looking At Porn The Same Thing As Cheating?

Posted on Updated on

I found this article recently on XXXChurch.com  (a ministry taking a stand against porn).  I wanted to share it here:

 

“I don’t understand,” Tim said to his wife as they sat across from me during their first counseling session. “I didn’t sleep with anyone. I was watching porn. Since when is that considered adultery?”

He shot me a look seeking my support in confirming his belief that Cheryl was overreacting to his behavior.

Unfortunately for Tim, such support was not to be found, at least not in my counseling office.

Just as I asked Tim to do, let’s take a moment and look at what’s involved with pornography and what could be the rationale that leaves Cheryl and many other women to believe it’s a form of cheating.

Is looking at porn the same thing as cheating?

Let’s think about three things we’re really doing when we’re watching porn:

1) We’re lusting.

We are becoming aroused as we watch other individuals engaging in sexual acts. When we commit adultery what are we engaging in? Lust. When we make a commitment to another person to be involved in a serious relationship or marry, we are promising to not lust after others.

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman. For what has God above chosen for us? What is our inheritance from the Almighty on high? Isn’t it calamity for the wicked and misfortune for those who do evil?” Job 31:1-3

We accept the duty to honor our partner by not allowing our sexual desires to wander beyond the relationship. When we view pornography, we are wandering sexually and dishonoring our partner.

2) We’re planting seeds of doubt in our partner’s mind.

In a large majority of cases, when a woman discovers her partner watching pornography – whether she expresses it or not – she feels a sense of unworthiness. Our pornography use crushes their self-worth. She believes she can’t compete or measure up to the fantasy women we lust after, and it creates a sense of shame within her. The women we betray begin comparing themselves to the graphic images and feel they are “not enough for us.” Our pornography usage creates self-doubt in their ability to mentally and physically satisfy us. This ultimately creates a wedge in our relationship.

3) We’re engaging in solo sex.

There is no denying masturbation is heavily involved with pornography watching.

But when we do that, we are robbing our wives and our relationships of the opportunity for both emotional and physical intimacy.

Our bodies are not our own, and our desire to engage in sexual pleasure was meant to be shared with our wives and not in isolation.

“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4

We can attempt to justify our pornography use by claiming it’s harmless and that we can do what we wish with our own bodies.

Is looking at porn the same thing as cheating? The truth is: pornography is a betrayal that objectifies and dishonors women, so yes, it’s a form of cheating. And our partners deserve better than that from us.

 

Author: user avatar  Eddie Capparucci on July 15th, 2016

Confession of a church girl who reads porn

Posted on

The following article appeared on http://www.iamsecond.com.  I wanted to share it here, to highlight the fact that women are not immune to sexual addiction or the draw of pornography.  Additionally, this article sheds light on the truth… porn is addictive, destructive, and a tool of the Enemy used to steal, kill, and destroy.

 

I don’t know for sure if this is just a confession or also a cry for help. It’s probably both.

But I do know that I have a problem, a real problem, and I need to be open about it because it’s the things we do in secret, the things we try to solve on our own, that come to destroy us.

It would be easy to blame other things or other people for this problem, this growing addiction, this new hang-up that I have. But I know I bear responsibility too, because I’ve fed it. And I keep feeding it.

It started in middle school. I read a book excerpt about Queen Elizabeth I that talked about her having graphic sex with a man. It was my introduction to erotica and I was horrified. I went to bed and cried and promised God I would never so much as kiss a boy until I was engaged. I wanted nothing to do with this sex thing.

But that excerpt led to the fantasies, and the fantasies are what stuck with me.

I’ve been fantasizing about being kissed since I was in middle school; I’ve been dreaming about the day some boy would lock lips with me, my stomach would stutter then burst into flames, and my heart would leap and fireworks would explode behind my eyes.

The older I got, the more those fantasies grew out of control. And without anyone to kiss, I turned to TV, movies, and books to get my fix.

At first it was just kissing. I would re-read books that had those scenes. Actually, that’s a lie: I would re-read the kissing scenes in books and close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to kiss someone myself. I would put searches in Google for “best TV kisses,” “greatest kisses in literature,” “hottest movie kisses,” and I would watch or read the results avidly.

Until the day I didn’t search for “kiss,” I searched for “sex scene.”


Until the day I didn’t search for “kiss,” I searched for “sex scene.”


This past year has been interrupted with occasional searches. At first they were a few months apart, then a few weeks, then a few days.

I wouldn’t say I have a porn addiction, because I don’t watch porn, per se. I would say that I have a fascination with erotica, especially with literary erotica. I would say that I am addicted to the titillating, exciting written passages that describe a beautiful kiss or a sexual encounter.

I don’t know why I’m telling you this, because I don’t have an answer. I’m not writing this piece to tell you how to overcome an addiction or a fascination, or at the very least to explain how God stepped in and saved me from those desires.

I’m also not writing this piece to scream about porn, premarital sex, and how to avoid them. It’s not a prescription — it’s a confession.

That said…I’m struggling with why I’m writing it. I promised myself that I would only write pieces when I felt God compelling me to do so, when I felt like I had a bite-sized revelation to share that could help someone.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t write pieces where I espouse my opinion and doctrine and tell you how to live. I don’t have that right.

Yet here I am, writing this piece, and the only reason I have is because I felt compelled to. Because when I’m online reading about sex, I sense something’s off. It’s not God’s disapproval or anger, but maybe it’s His sorrow? I sense that He is sad because He gave me guidelines. Guidelines I accepted. Guidelines He set out because He wants what’s best for me. And I’m disregarding them.

I guess I’m also writing it because nothing on the internet is sacred, not even your Google searches, not even the articles you read.

So before anyone gets the chance to “out” me as a reader of porn — straight porn, lesbian porn, you-name-it-literary-porn — I’m going to out myself.


Before anyone gets the chance to “out” me as a reader of porn I’m going to out myself.


Hi, I’m Karis. I’ve written 10 articles for I Am Second. I volunteer at church. I have even led groups at church. But I strive to be vulnerable in all aspects, so here I am telling you just how completely imperfect I am, just how broken and sinful I am. I am not perfect. I am not even OK.

I want you to know this about me so you know that when I speak I speak from a place of turmoil, of brokenness, of screwed-up-ness. I’m sure some of you will discount all of my words because of this.

But I hope that maybe, just maybe, my confession will show you that it’s OK to confess things, to be open about where we fail and fall short, because if there’s one thing God loves, it’s using someone who’s useless on their own.

And I’m writing this because that way I can be held accountable. I can be kept from going back. Because the more others know about my struggle, the better they’ll be able to help me and encourage me.

So I’m writing this for you and I’m writing it for me. And I’m writing it for God. Even as I’m finishing this article I feel a whole heap of terror about putting this to the world, but I also feel a bit of peace because I’m following my convictions to be vulnerable. I feel like God has his hand on my shoulder and is telling me He’ll walk with me and it’s going to be OK. He’s got me. He’s got you.

And in the end, I want that more than the porn.

Here is the link to the article: http://www.iamsecond.com/2016/06/confession-im-a-church-girl-that-reads-porn/

 

3 tips for wives of a sex addict

Posted on

Married to a Sex Addict? 3 Important Tips to Help Your Relationship

After you learn of your spouse’s pornography addiction, you’ll probably experience a whole gamut of emotions including shock, anger, desperation, depression, and more. You may feel like distancing yourself from your spouse and marriage, but there are better things you can do for healing.

Follow these three tips to learn how you can slowly, but surely, improve your relationship and begin to move forward on the path of forgiveness.

1. Educate yourself on addiction. The first thing you can do when you learn about your spouse’s addiction is to educate yourself on what addiction is, how it starts, and why it’s so hard to stop. Learn about the symptoms of relational trauma you may be going through during this time, such as fear, obsession, the need for control, and the unhealthy actions that might go along with these emotions.

Speak to a professional therapist for answers to your questions and to get the support you need, which can include a support group, therapist, spiritual leader, or trusted friend, in order to move forward on the road to forgiveness and healing.

2.  Distract yourself. At this time of struggle it’s easy to get into the trap of analyzing every last detail of your spouse’s sex addiction. Resist the urge. Dwelling on unpleasant details won’t help you and will probably make you feel even worse.

Instead of keeping yourself in misery, now is a good time to invest more energy in yourself. Here are a few productive ways you can build your spirits up during this difficult time:

  • Set recovery goals and write them down
  • Connect with a support community and/or clergy member
  • Set up a weekly night out with yourself or with friends
  • Learn a new skill or start a hobby you’ve always wanted to have
  • Start a new exercise regime
  • Get plenty of good sleep
  • Serve others who are in need

By giving yourself a positive distraction from the struggles, you’ll replenish your soul and have more energy to effectively deal with your relationship.

3. Work to rebuild trust. The most important thing you can do for your spouse and your marriage is to encourage them to seek professional help from a marriage therapist (preferably who specializes in pornography and sexual addiction) to help them quit porn.

At the same time, the two of you can talk openly with your therapist for relationship guidance and healing. Set boundaries with your spouse to stop behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Once these are set and followed, trust can start to build up again.

Communicate openly and non-aggressively throughout the healing process. Have the hard conversations. Learn to use “I” and “me” to avoid sounding accusatory, such as “I’ve noticed that…” or “Lately, I’ve been feeling…” By formatting your sentences more around your feelings, your spouse will not go on the defensive and will, more likely, hear what you have to say.

This is not an easy time, so remember to practice patience with yourself and with your spouse. Each day is each of you must recommit towards healing and working together (and individually) to rebuild the trust, improve communication, and focusing on your future.

 Article source: the blog at freedombeginshere.org

About the Author: Danielle Adams is a freelance writer who works with Lifestar Therapy (http://www.lifestartherapy.com/). She is committed to helping people practice open communication and build healthy relationships.

Recovering from your Husband’s Addiction to Pornography

Posted on

How to Recover from Your Husband’s Pornography Addiction

3 steps a wife can take to heal

When a wife discovers her husband is hooked on pornography, she’s instantly tossed into an unintended journey by a blistering sense of betrayal. My wife Brenda shares about a similar journey in The Healing Choice, co-written with Susan Allen:

Any wife who is enduring the pain of a husband’s porn addiction is experiencing the most shattering, deep kind of pain she may ever encounter. One day her marriage seems normal, and the next perversion seems to have broken out everywhere. She hasn’t a clue how to find her way out, and is likely unprepared for the crushing pain of betrayal that has her buried deep in an emotional wasteland. What happens if she doesn’t have what she needs to pull through and get her heart back?

Once that storm crashes in and she realizes she doesn’t have the knowledge she needs about her husband’s sin, or the connection with God that she requires to handle this kind of trauma, she must immediately begin to learn and to build up her own intimacy with God, just like I did in the middle of my grief. She must choose to move in to God with all of her heart. That’s the key.

Steps to Recovery

Perhaps you’ve begun a similar journey. If so, what immediate actions can you take to move in closer to God? Obviously, you must dive deeply into prayer and into the Word. On my wife Brenda’s journey, she began praying at the top of every hour for five minutes, transforming her spirit. She found the stress made it difficult for her to remember the Scripture she needed for support, so she wrote out the verses on sticky notes and posted them all over the house to keep his Word alive throughout her day. Get creative and run to him with all of your heart. As you run, be careful to do these three things as well:

1. Get Knowledgeable About Male Sexuality

When your husband turns to porn for sexual pleasure, it’s common to blame yourself for it all. Don’t. At its root, it isn’t about sex at all, so it isn’t about your attractiveness or the extra 20 pounds you’re carrying since the baby, or what you do or don’t do in bed. Trust me. You have what it takes sexually, so don’t worry. He’s the issue—not you.

Of course, you must believe this inside and out, so get knowledgeable. Start by reading Brenda’s book, Every Heart Restored, which includes nine chapters on male sexuality. You’ll soon recognize that your husband’s sexual sin likely spawned from past wounds inflicted upon him long before he ever met you—wounds that taught him to use his sexuality as a crutch to medicate the emotional pain in his life. Such knowledge changes everything, freeing your heart to move more quickly from judgment to mercy, which is exactly where God wants it to be.

Don’t get me wrong. Your frustration and anger at the betrayal are natural, and you needn’t feel guilty about it. In action, porn and masturbation are betrayal, stabbing at the female heart and crushing marital oneness. It must stop. But in motive, it’s rarely betrayal. Let me explain.

When I engaged my battle for purity as a young husband, I soon had my eyes retrained to bounce away from the sensual imagery around me, and quickly learned to take lustful thoughts captive. I figured these victories would eliminate all traces of sexual sin, but the masturbation habit retained its grip on me. I couldn’t understand it.

At the time I was in full-commission sales, which meant that if I sold nothing, my kids ate nothing. That’s pressure, so on many nights I tucked my kids into bed, gave Brenda a kiss and headed off late to my office to prepare for the next day. That’s where the masturbation occurred.

Why was this happening? I loved Brenda, and our sex life was wonderful. My actions surely betrayed her, but my motives were pure. I wasn’t chasing sexual betrayal.

When I looked more closely at those late nights, I noticed a pattern. I always felt lonely and disconnected, and as the hours wore on, my sense of stress would multiply. I hadn’t yet learned to trust God with financial pressure, or to lean on him as a son. I could only hear the haunting cries of my childhood, sneering that I just didn’t have what it takes to succeed out there or to stand at my dad’s side in the world of men. I just didn’t measure up in his eyes, and because of my job stress, I seriously doubted whether I’d ever measure up in my own eyes, either.

That’s where the masturbation came in. Somewhere along the way, I’d “learned” that masturbation provides a very real sense of intimacy and connection, and that orgasm gives a guy a strong sense of manhood, dominance, and control, even though it’s fleeting. That’s a pretty strong draw for a frightened man who feels like a loser night after lonely night.

In truth, I didn’t have a sexual sin issue after all. I had a financial trust issue, and a desire to reassert some control over my stressful life. The masturbation was only a symptom, something I used to medicate my pain instead of allowing God to heal it. When I changed my focus from the masturbation to my lack of my intimacy with God, I soon began turning to him in prayer during those moments of fear and temptation instead. The masturbation soon vanished on its own.

2. Relish Your Role as Helpmate

Your role is to lift your husband to Christian greatness and oneness with God, whatever that may entail. Of course, your motives are everything. If your motives are love, you’ll remember his wounds and speak from an encouraging perspective instead of harshly speaking in ways that tear and destroy. Memorize 1 Corinthians 13, and continually assess your motives from this foundation of love.

As you approach your role, what behaviors can you expect to see in your husband if he is truly committed to change? First of all, he’ll be open and honest about his sin, and will share any level of detail necessary to help you heal. If he stumbles again, he won’t wait for your interrogation to reveal it. He will immediately come to you to tell you. All lying will stop.

Second, he’ll be very patient as you heal, which is a sign of deep repentance. He’ll know that since he created the mess, he’s the one who must clean up the mess, no matter how long it takes.

Third, he’ll perform trustworthy acts regularly. He’ll eagerly read the books you give him, likeEvery Man’s Battle. He won’t wait for you to place the computer in a high-traffic area and purchase the filters. He’ll seek out accountability relationships with other men, and will regularly ask you for other ways he might help rebuild your trust.

If these aren’t happening, bring them up to him. Your voice is critical in his life. Refuse to be muzzled.

3. Develop Close Friends on Your Journey

You may find it difficult to talk to other wives about your husband’s sin, but it’s urgent to develop friendships for support on this confusing journey. Push through these feelings until you’ve found true Christian community, that life-giving connection that’s part of healthy support groups.

After learning of her husband Clay’s addiction to porn, Susan Allen restored her heart in this kind of community through the help of other hurting sisters in Christ. Before long, Susan began leading her own groups and soon created a nonprofit organization called Avenue that distributes support group curricula and provides mentoring help to group leaders through their volunteer staff in California. If you can’t find friends locally, join a small group community via 800-number. Simply contact Susan’s volunteer staff at women@avenueresource.com.

Fred Stoeker is founder of Living True Ministries and author of best-selling books Every Man’s Battle and Every Young Man’s Battle. Connect online at www.fredstoeker.com.

3 Indicators that you have an Addiction

Posted on

Sexual addiction, also known as sexual compulsivity, hypersexuality and hypersexual disorder, is a preoccupation with sexual fantasy and activity that lasts six months or longer and leads to problems for the addict. Sex addiction is not an official diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association (APA)’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), but other professional organizations, including the American Society for Addiction Medicine, do acknowledge and accept behavioral addictions, of which sex addiction is one. Generally speaking, three main factors are taken into account when diagnosing sexual addiction:

  1. Preoccupation to the point of obsession with sexual fantasies and behavior. Sex addicts spend hours, sometimes even days, fantasizing about sex, planning for sex, pursuing sex and engaging in sex. Their decision-making revolves around sex, including their choices in clothing, where they exercise, the car they drive and maybe even the career path they choose.
  2. Loss of control over sexual fantasies and behaviors. Sex addicts often try to quit or cut back on their behavior or fantasies, without success. They promise themselves and others that they will change, but without outside intervention (typically some form of therapy and/or 12-step support), they nearly always fail in these efforts — usually repeatedly.
  3. Negative consequences directly related to sexual behavior. Sex addicts eventually experience many of the same adverse consequences that alcoholics, drug addicts, compulsive gamblers, compulsive spenders and other addicts deal with.

In short, sexual addiction is an ongoing, out-of-control pattern of compulsive sexual fantasies and behaviors that causes serious problems in the addict’s life.

If you’re concerned that you or someone you love may have a problem with sexual addiction, it may be time to talk to a certified sex addiction treatment specialist who can evaluate symptoms and make a diagnosis and/or to check out 12-step sexual addiction recovery groups. Whether you’ve just noticed a problem or you’ve seen it get worse over a long period of time, it’s important to know that there are a variety of treatment options and resources available that can help.

 

 

 

 

Source: https://www.addiction.com/addiction-a-to-z/sex-addiction/

 

What are “triggers?”

Posted on

Triggers are catalysts that create a need/desire to act out sexually. Most often, triggers are some sort of “pain agent.” Pain agents include both emotional and physical discomfort, either short- or long-term. Depression, anxiety, loneliness, boredom, stress, shame, anger and any other form of emotional or psychological (or even physical) discomfort can easily trigger an addict’s desire to escape, avoid and dissociate. Positive agents can also serve as triggers. So if a sex addict gets fired from his or her job, he or she will want to act out sexually; and if that same addict gets a great new job, he or she will want act out sexually. If triggers are not dealt with in a healthy way (dissipated via a healthy, non-addictive coping mechanism like talking to supportive friends, family members or a therapist), then the addictive cycle inevitably progresses.

Triggers: What to Look For

Generally speaking, triggers for porn addiction fall into two main categories – internal and external.

  • Internal triggers for porn addiction typically involve emotional (or sometimes physical) discomfort. In other words, depression, shame, anxiety, anger, fear, guilt, remorse, boredom and/or any other uncomfortable emotion can trigger a desire to look at porn.
  • External triggers for porn addiction typically involve people, places, things and/or events. For instance, if/when a sex addict sees a sexy coworker or a lingerie catalog (or anything else that reminds the addict of sex), he or she might also feel a desire to look at porn.

Sometimes triggers for porn addiction are both internal and external at the same time. In other words, a porn addict might have a tough day at work (an external trigger) that causes feelings of shame (an internal trigger), with both triggers creating a desire to look at porn. And this double whammy can easily be exacerbated by other triggers, such as noticing a sexy billboard on the way home.

A few of the more common internal triggers for porn addiction are:

  • Boredom
  • Loneliness
  • Anger
  • Resentments
  • Fear
  • Anxiety
  • Sadness, grief and/or depression
  • Stress
  • Shame
  • Frustration
  • Feeling unloved and/or unwanted
  • Feeling unappreciated

A few of the more common external triggers for porn addiction are:

  • Travel (especially solo travel)
  • Ended relationships
  • Unstructured time alone
  • Negative experiences (of any type)
  • Positive experiences (of any type)
  • Unexpected life changes (of any type)
  • Substance use or abuse
  • Unexpected exposure to sexual stimuli (driving past a strip club, seeing a sexy magazine at the newsstand, encountering an attractive person, etc.)
  • Financial problems
  • Arguments
  • Family issues

So triggers are tricky little things. And, unfortunately, they are pretty much unavoidable. This is true for all addicts, not just porn addicts. Alcoholics can be triggered when they drive past the local bar. Drug addicts can be triggered when they watch TV crime dramas where drugs are part of the plot. Gambling addicts can be triggered when they see a deck of cards or a set of dice. And addicts of all types – including porn addicts – can be triggered simply because they must deal with the roller-coaster of life and the emotions it induces. In short, triggers are everywhere, and there is not much that porn addicts can do about that fact beyond learning to recognize when they’ve been triggered and ways to intervene when that occurs.

 

source: https://www.addiction.com/expert-blogs/porn-addicts-do-you-know-what-triggers-your-behavior/

 

PORN IS LIKE A DRUG

Posted on Updated on

This article is from (fightthenewdrug.org)

PORN IS LIKE A DRUG

On the surface, cocaine and porn don’t seem to have a lot in common. One is purchased
in seedy alleyways; the other is free to download. One habit can get expensive pretty fast, while the other is about the price of a high-speed Internet connection. Besides, Hugh Heffner doesn’t exactly conjure up images of a cartel drug lord.
So where’s the similarity? Inside the brain.

In case you’re not a neurosurgeon, here’s a crash course in how the brain works. Deep inside your brain, there’s something called a “reward pathway.” You’ve got one. Your cat’s got one. For mammals, it comes standard. The reward pathway’s job is to help keep you alive by doing exactly what its name promises: rewards you, or more specifically, rewards you when you do something that promotes life, such as eating food or achieving something you’ve worked hard for. And the way it rewards you is by releasing chemicals in your brain— mainly one called dopamine, but also others like
oxytocin [See page 15 Porn Is a Lie].

Normally, these chemicals are really handy. They help us feel pleasure and to bond with other people, and they motivate us to come back to important activities that make us happy. The problem is, the reward pathway can be hijacked. The way substances like cocaine and opioids make users feel high is by triggering the reward pathway to release unnaturally high levels of dopamine without making the user do any of the work to earn it. Want to guess what else does that? Porn. And that surge of dopamine is causing more than
just feelings. As it goes pulsing through the brain, dopamine helps to create new brain pathways that essentially lead the user back to the behavior that triggered the chemical release. The more a drug user hits up or a porn user looks at porn, the more those pathways get wired into the brain, making it easier and easier for the person to turn back to using, whether they want to or not.

Over time, the constant overload of chemicals causes other brain changes as well. Just like a junkie will eventually require more and more of a drug to get a buzz or even just feel normal, porn users can quickly build up a tolerance as their brains adapt to the high levels of dopamine that porn releases. In other words, even though porn is still releasing dopamine into the brain, the user can’t feel its effects as much. That’s because the brain is trying to protect itself from the overload of dopamine by getting rid of some of its chemical receptors, which act like tiny catcher’s mitts that receive the dopamine released. With fewer receptors, the brain thinks less dopamine is there and the user doesn’t feel as strong a reaction. As a result, they have to find more porn, find it more often, or find a more extreme version—or all three—to generate even more dopamine to feel excited.
And once a porn user becomes accustomed to a brain pulsing with these chemicals, trying to cut back on the habit can lead to withdrawal symptoms, just like with drugs. While people often think of porn as something that’s been around forever, today’s version of porn is a whole new ball game. Thanks to the Internet, porn now mixes the most powerful natural dopamine release the body can produce with a cocktail of other elements—endless novelty, shock, and surprise—all of which increase the dopamine surge. And because Internet porn offers an endless stream of variety, users can flip to a new image every time their high starts to fade, keeping dopamine levels elevated for hours.

Describing porn’s effect to a U.S. Senate committee, Dr. Jeffrey Satinover of Princeton
University said, “It is as though we have devised a form of heroin 100 times more powerful than before, usable in the privacy of one’s own home and injected directly to the brain through the eyes.”

On the surface, cocaine and porn don’t seem to have a lot in common but studies are showing that viewing pornography tricks your brain into releasing the same pleasure chemicals that drugs do. What’s more is your brain actually begins to rewire itself because of this artificial stimulation. It may sound crazy, but it’s true.

KEY TAKEAWAYS
• To your brain, porn has the
same effects as drugs.

• Porn hijacks the reward pathway
in the brain.

• Just like drugs, you build up a
tolerance so you need more porn
for the same effects.

• Withdrawal symptoms can occur
when you try and walk away.
Get the Facts on Pornography © 2013 FIGHT THE NEW DRUG™ WWW.FIGHTTHENEWDRUG.ORG 2
Citations Learn more at http://www.FightTheNewDrug.org
[1] Pitchers, K. K., Vialou, V., Nestler, E. J., Laviolette, S. R., Lehman, M. N., and
Coolen, L. M. (2013). Natural and Drug Rewards Act on Common Neural Plasticity
Mechanisms with DeltaFosB as a Key Mediator. Journal of Neuroscience 33, 8:
3434-3442; Hilton, D. L. (2013). Pornography Addiction—A Supranormal Stimulus
Considered in the Context of Neuroplasticity. Socioaffective Neuroscience &
Psychology 3:20767; Hilton, D. L., and Watts, C. (2011). Pornography Addiction:
A Neuroscience Perspective. Surgical Neurology International, 2: 19. (http://www.
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/)
[2] Hilton, D. L., and Watts, C. (2011). Pornography Addiction: A Neuroscience
Perspective. Surgical Neurology International, 2: 19; (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.
gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/) Bostwick, J. M. and Bucci, J. E. (2008). Internet
Sex Addiction Treated with Naltrexone. Mayo Clinic Proceedings 83, 2: 226–230;
Nestler, E. J. (2005). Is There a Common Molecular Pathway for Addiction? Nature
Neuroscience 9, 11: 1445–1449; Leshner, A. (1997). Addiction Is a Brain Disease
and It Matters. Science 278: 45–7.
[3] Bostwick, J. M. and Bucci, J. E. (2008). Internet Sex Addiction Treated with
Naltrexone. Mayo Clinic Proceedings 83, 2: 226–230; Balfour, M. E., Yu, L., and
Coolen, L. M. (2004). Sexual Behavior and Sex-Associated Environmental Cues
Activate the Mesolimbic System in Male Rats. Neuropsychopharmacology 29,
4:718–730; Leshner, A. (1997). Addiction Is a Brain Disease and It Matters. Science
278: 45–7.
[4] Hedges, V. L., Chakravarty, S., Nestler, E. J., and Meisel, R. L. (2009). DeltaFosB
Overexpression in the Nucleus Accumbens Enhances Sexual Reward in Female
Syrian Hamsters. Genes Brain and Behavior 8, 4: 442–449; Bostwick, J. M. and
Bucci, J. E. (2008). Internet Sex Addiction Treated with Naltrexone. Mayo Clinic
Proceedings 83, 2: 226–230; Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New
York: Penguin Books, 108; Mick, T. M. and Hollander, E. (2006). Impulsive-Compulsive
Sexual Behavior. CNS Spectrums, 11(12):944-955; Nestler, E. J. (2005).
Is There a Common Molecular Pathway for Addiction? Nature Neuroscience 9,
11: 1445–1449; Leshner, A. (1997). Addiction Is a Brain Disease and It Matters.
Science 278: 45–7.
[5] Bostwick, J. M. and Bucci, J. E. (2008). Internet Sex Addiction Treated with
Naltrexone. Mayo Clinic Proceedings 83, 2: 226–230; Paul, P. (2007). Pornified:
How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our
Families. New York: Henry Hold and Co., 75; Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That
Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books, 107; What Is Oxytocin, Psychology
Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/oxytocin
[6] Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books,
106;
Kauer, J. A., and Malenka, J. C. (2007). Synaptic Plasticity and Addiction. Nature
Reviews Neuroscience 8: 844–858; Mick, T. M. and Hollander, E. (2006). Impulsive-
Compulsive Sexual Behavior. CNS Spectrums, 11(12):944-955; Nestler, E. J.
(2005). Is There a Common Molecular Pathway for Addiction? Nature Neuroscience
9, 11: 1445–1449; Leshner, A. (1997). Addiction Is a Brain Disease and It
Matters. Science 278: 45–7.
[7] Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books,
106; Nestler, E. J. (2005). Is There a Common Molecular Pathway for Addiction?
Nature Neuroscience 9, 11: 1445–1449.
[8] Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books,
106;
Nestler, E. J. (2005). Is There a Common Molecular Pathway for Addiction? Nature
Neuroscience 9, 11: 1445–1449.
[9] Hilton, D. L. (2013). Pornography Addiction—A Supranormal Stimulus Considered
in the Context of Neuroplasticity. Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology
3:20767; Pitchers, K. K., Vialou, V., Nestler, E. J., Laviolette, S. R., Lehman, M.
N., and Coolen, L. M. (2013). Natural and Drug Rewards Act on Common Neural
Plasticity Mechanisms with DeltaFosB as a Key Mediator. Journal of Neuroscience
33, 8: 3434-3442; Hedges, V. L., Chakravarty, S., Nestler, E. J., and Meisel, R. L.
(2009). DeltaFosB Overexpression in the Nucleus Accumbens Enhances Sexual
Reward in Female Syrian Hamsters. Genes Brain and Behavior 8, 4: 442–449;
Hilton, D. L., and Watts, C. (2011). Pornography Addiction: A Neuroscience Perspective.
Surgical Neurology International, 2: 19; (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
pmc/articles/PMC3050060/)
Miner, M. H., Raymond, N., Mueller, B. A., Lloyd, M., Lim, K. O. (2009). Preliminary
Investigation of the Impulsive and Neuroanatomical Characteristics of
Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Psychiatry Research 174: 146–51; Angres, D. H.
and Bettinardi-Angres, K. (2008). The Disease of Addiction: Origins, Treatment,
and Recovery. Disease-a-Month 54: 696–721; Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That
Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books, 107.
[10] Angres, D. H. and Bettinardi-Angres, K. (2008). The Disease of Addiction:
Origins, Treatment, and Recovery. Disease-a-Month 54: 696–721; Doidge, N.
(2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books, 102.
[11] Pitchers, K. K., Vialou, V., Nestler, E. J., Laviolette, S. R., Lehman, M. N.,
and Coolen, L. M. (2013). Natural and Drug Rewards Act on Common Neural
Plasticity Mechanisms with DeltaFosB as a Key Mediator. Journal of Neuroscience
33, 8: 3434-3442; Angres, D. H. and Bettinardi-Angres, K. (2008). The Disease
of Addiction: Origins, Treatment, and Recovery. Disease-a-Month 54: 696–721;
Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself. New York: Penguin Books, 105;
Paul, P. (2007). Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our
Relationships, and Our Families. New York: Henry Hold and Co., 75.
[12] Hilton, D. L., and Watts, C. (2011). Pornography Addiction: A Neuroscience
Perspective. Surgical Neurology International, 2: 19; (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.
gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/) Angres, D. H. and Bettinardi-Angres, K. (2008).
The Disease of Addiction: Origins, Treatment, and Recovery. Disease-a-Month 54:
696–721.
[13] Angres, D. H. and Bettinardi-Angres, K. (2008). The Disease of Addiction:
Origins, Treatment, and Recovery. Disease-a-Month 54: 696–721; Zillmann, D.
(2000). Influence of Unrestrained Access to Erotica on Adolescents’ and Young
Adults’ Dispositions Toward Sexuality. Journal of Adolescent Health 27, 2: 41–44.
[14] Angres, D. H. and Bettinardi-Angres, K. (2008). The Disease of Addiction:
Origins, Treatment, and Recovery. Disease-a-Month 54: 696–721; Berridge, K. C.
and Robinson, T. E. (2002). The Mind of an Addicted Brain: Neural Sensitization
of Wanting Versus Liking. In J. T. Cacioppo, G. G. Bernston, R. Adolphs, et al.
(Eds.) Foundations in Social Neuroscience (pp. 565–72). Cambridge, Mass.: MIT
Press.
[15] Paul, P. (2007). Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our
Relationships, and Our Families. New York: Henry Hold and Co., 75; Caro, M.
(2004). The New Skin Trade. Chicago Tribune, September 19; Brosius, H. B., et al.
(1993). Exploring the Social and Sexual “Reality” of Contemporary Pornography.
Journal of Sex Research 30, 2: 161–70.
[16] Satinover, J. (2004). Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation,
Subcommittee on Science, Technology, and Space, Hearing on the Brain
Science Behind Pornography Addiction and Effects of Addiction on Families and
Communities, November 18.

Source of arcticle:  http://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-addiction-escalates/

 

5 Stages of Pornography Addiction

Posted on

**this article originally appeared here:  http://newsok.com/article/5407775

About 83 percent of pornography addicts are men, and one in three is a woman. The largest users of online pornography are 12 to 17-year-olds. Teenagers. Fifty-six percent of divorces involve one spouse with a pornography addiction (mind-armor.com). Yes, addiction—not just viewing for recreational pleasure, but viewing it because it becomes a compulsion and the addict can’t think of or do anything else.

Do you think you, your spouse, or someone else you know might be addicted to pornography?  Read below about the five stages of a pornography addiction.

STAGE 1. Early exposure. As was stated, the largest users of online porn are children ages twelve to seventeen. Most boys have a curiosity about the opposite sex and, unfortunately, think they can learn more about them on Internet porn sites. They yield to the enticement offered by non-human, unemotional contact. Unless they can navigate away from this temptation, they are seduced. There are new statistics that teenage boys are being diagnosed with erectile dysfunction due to advanced pornography abuse.

STAGE 2. Addiction. Addiction takes place when the initial naïve curiosity turns into a physical dependence for this degenerate type of sexual arousal. In a pornography addiction, the habit-forming “substance” is explicit sexual material. To satisfy the addiction, the addict relies on the Internet, DVDs, uses his smartphone or looks at magazines or books.

Using porn increases to more than recreational exploit. The addict loses control of his or her thoughts in pursuit of the drug. The images establish themselves in the brain and are hard to shake for visually-wired males. Porn is needed for arousal and is used on a regular basis. Instead of a vein or a lung, the substance is taken in via the eyes directly to the visual cortex in the back of the brain, releasing neurochemicals like dopamine and endorphins, producing a “high.” All addictions share the same brain changes.

“Constant novelty, at the click of a mouse, can cause addiction,” said Gary Wilson of TEDx, in “The Great Porn Experiment.” Dopamine rewards you for seeking the visual pleasures porn presents. It makes you feel good. The brain chemicals motivate some to repeat this behavior. You keep coming back. You can’t stop. You’re hooked. Because of this chemical release — and the consequences of behavior — pornography addiction is considered to be a form of chemical brain damage. People become dependent on pornography for physical and emotional satisfaction.

STAGE 3. Desensitization. Just as in any chemical dependency, the amount of pornography the addict previously used is not enough to stimulate these brain chemicals. Dopamine loves novelty. When the reward wears off, the dopamine release declines, therefore pleasure declines, the libido declines, and may cause erectile dysfunction in males. Less gratification leads to the desire for greater amounts of hardcore porn. A vicious cycle reigns. Addicts need to intensify reaching the pleasure points in their brains again, only on a more advanced level.

STAGE 4. Escalation. The addict desires greater pleasure, expanded novelty, so he or she ups the dose. They pursue pernicious, indecent images from the Internet. Porn has become their drug of choice, and self-medication rises to new levels. Licentious sexual images, urges and fantasies dominate the thoughts. This over-stimulation interferes with the normal balance of the addict’s brain chemicals. They now crave extreme novelty. Most viewing is done in secret.

STAGE 5. Acting out sexually. Acting out is the next stage of escalation. The addict moves from viewing pornography to seeking a real world experience. It leads to risky behaviors, like stealing from joint bank accounts to pay for prostitutes, binge drinking for heightened courage to act out, unexplained anger or promiscuous sex. The latter may, and does, cause STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Leaving their boring spouses behind, who long ago failed to fulfill sexual gratification, addicted men and women actively seek other live sex partners. If married, the addict will think nothing of committing adultery to satiate the craving for intense sexual novelty. Men will visit prostitutes, women will pick up men in bars or at the gym, or resort to cyber porn (including email, chat rooms, and social media). Chatting with strangers who vicariously satisfy sexual needs behind closed doors is adultery—ask any spouse who is victim of their partner’s porn addiction and has acted out in the cyber world. It’s emotional adultery and may lead to acting out with live partners.

Depending on the level of graphic, hardcore porn the addict has viewed in order to spiral to the acting out level, some escalate to the deviant sexual behaviors and perversions of rape, child molestation, incest and even murder. Pornography could be considered a gateway drug to severe criminal behaviors.

In Ted Bundy’s final interview on the day of his execution, James Dobson uncovered the knowledge that the impetus of this serial killer’s criminal rampage began with an addiction to pornography which escalated to acting out.

A pornography addiction is about selfishness—getting, taking—not giving, as it would be in a normal intimate relationship with a spouse. The addiction makes it impossible for any emotional or marital familiarity, closeness or love.

The admission of addiction and desire to be rid of it is the beginning of recovery. It’s the beginning of renewal, mending of self and relationships. In a perfect world, the addict will crave freedom from the addiction and seek help.

For more information about pornography addiction and recovery:

“Taking the power away from porn—for good.”

Fight the new drug

Morality in Media/Porn Harms

Porn is Addictive…Science says so.

Posted on

It wasn’t very long ago that doctors and researchers believed that in order for something to be addictive, it had to involve an outside substance that you physically put into your body, like cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs.

Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is an addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure.

—Norman Doidge, MD, The Brain That Changes Itself [1]

It wasn’t very long ago that doctors and researchers believed that in order for something to be addictive, it had to involve an outside substance that you physically put into your body, like cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs. [2]

Once we got a peek into the brain, however, our understanding of how addictions work changed. [3] It turns out, cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs have more in common than you might think. Sure, on the outside, some are poured into a glass while others are lit on fire and smoked. But once they’re in the body, they all do the same thing to the brain: flood it with a chemical called dopamine. [4] That’s what makes them addictive. And porn does the exact same thing. [5]

You see, your brain comes equipped with something called a “reward pathway.” [6] Its job is to motivate you to do things that keep you and your genes alive—things like eating or having sex to produce babies. [7] The way it rewards you is by releasing dopamine into your brain, because dopamine makes you feel good. [8]

However, just because your brain has adapted to motivate you to do something doesn’t mean it’s always good for you. For example, your brain produces higher levels of dopamine when you have chocolate cake than it does for whole-wheat bread. [9] Why? Because 3,000 years ago, high-calorie foods were really hard to come by, so when our ancestors found them, it was important that they eat a whole bunch while the getting was good. [10] These days, a bag of Oreos is only as far as the nearest supermarket. If we gorged on them every chance we got, chances are we’d get heart disease, gain weight, and develop a bunch of other health problems.

Porn is basically sexual junk food. When a person is looking at porn, their brain thinks they’re seeing a potential mating opportunity, and pumps the brain full of dopamine. [11] And unlike healthy sexual relationships that build up over time with an actual person, porn offers an endless stream of hyper-sexual images that flood the brain with high levels of dopamine every time the user clicks to a new image. [12]

Setting your brain up for an overload of feel-good chemicals might sound like a good idea at first, but just like with junk food, what feels like a good thing, in this case isn’t at all. Because porn use floods the brain with high chemical levels, the brain starts to fight back. Over time, the brain will actually cut down on its dopamine receptors—the tiny landing docs that take the dopamine in once it’s been released in your brain. [13] As a result, porn that once excited a person often stops having the same effect, and the user has to look at more porn, look at porn more often, or find a more hardcore version—or all three—to get aroused. [14]

Eventually, as the brain acclimates to the overload of dopamine, users often find that they can’t feel normal without that dopamine high. [15] Little things that used to make them happy, like seeing a friend or playing their favorite sport, can’t compete with the dopamine flood that comes with porn, so they’re left feeling anxious or down until they can get back to it. [16]

On top of that, dopamine doesn’t travel alone. When the brain is getting a hit of dopamine, it’s also getting new pathways built into it with a protein called “iFosB” (pronounced delta fos b). [17]

Essentially, iFosB’s job is to help you remember to do things that feel good or are important. [18] While dopamine is motivating your brain to do things and rewarding it for doing them, iFosB is quietly leaving trail markers in your brain, creating a pathway to help you get back there. [19] When this happens with healthy behaviors, it’s a very good thing. However, as little as one dose of many drugs will also cause iFosB to start building up in the brain’s neurons, and of course porn’s powerful dopamine surge causes iFosB to build up as well. [20]

The more a user looks at porn, the more iFosB accumulates, [21] essentially beating down the brain pathways leading to using, making it easier and easier for the user to turn back to that behavior, whether they want to or not. [22] Eventually, if enough iFosB accumulates, it can “flip a genetic switch,” causing irreversible changes in the brain that leave the user more susceptible to addiction. [23]

And for teens, the risks are especially high, since a teen brain’s reward pathway has a response two to four times more powerful than an adult brain—which means teen brains release even higher levels of dopamine. [24] Teen brains also produce higher levels of iFosB, leaving them extra vulnerable to addiction. [25]

ORIGINAL SOURCE OF THIS ARTICLE:
-http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/porn-is-addictive/#sthash.fukAv5lH.KYSKPfan.dpuf

 

HEY! Pornography IS Addictive!!!

Image Posted on

0e71af87dd010a0d795790cc46e5c91f